Currently, I’m grappling with intense emotional and physical exhaustion as a result of my mother’s demise, and finding it challenging to navigate my way through the pain.
I’ve been battling bouts of insomnia for the past 12 uninterrupted nights which leaves me constantly drained and worried. Now a lingering dread over my inability to sleep plagues me, leaving me grappling with whether I’ve contracted PTSD or it’s merely anxiety.
The day my mother passed, marked the beginning of this disturbing routine of sleeplessness that has persisted since then.
What adds to my heartache is the fact that an ongoing investigation held me back from bidding my last farewell to her.
The pain of her absence is excruciating and I find myself at crossroads not knowing how to cope with life without her. My emotional state seems to have taken a drastic turn since her departure. Also, comfort eating has found its way into my routine.
Even though I’m aware of her leaving, the acceptance of it still remains a soaring challenge. If there is any advice that could alleviate my suffering and facilitate my eventual acceptance, I would be deeply grateful.
Coleen says
Your current state is one of grief, and it fairly fresh. This overwhelming experience is a result of your mind and body coping with the sudden demise of someone very dear to you. I’m aware of how painful this period can be, especially given this is your first time encountering the loss of someone you held close. Even while it feels unbearable, it’s crucial to acknowledge your grief as an essential part of the healing process.
Grief manifests differently in everyone, and there’s no standard for dealing with it. However, in many cases, bereavement counselling has shown to alleviate distress and I would highly recommend considering it.
Before you take any steps forward, I would advise you to schedule an appointment with your doctor and elaborate your situation and sleep concerns. You might also consider reaching out to Cruse, the bereavement charity, at cruse.org.uk or by dialling their helpline 0808 808 1677.
You haven’t given any details about why safeguarding was enforced, but I comprehend how distressing it must have been not to get a chance to bid goodbye to your beloved mother.
You can make arrangements to bid her farewell in your own way. You can visit her burial place, her favourite spot, or a location that holds special memories for both of you in Glasgow.
Penning down a few lines for her could prove therapeutic for you, by articulating your sentiments on paper. Remember, it’s alright to voice your feelings to your close friends and family. Let them in on your requirements.
In terms of getting adequate sleep, it can get increasingly difficult to function when you’re perpetually tired. There are plenty of helper apps with sleep stories and guided meditations which could assist you cope with insomnia. These resources are designed to divert your thought process and ease the associated apprehensions.
This might seem daunting at the moment, but as time goes on, dealing with the loss of your mother will get easier.
Remember, it’s alright to sporadically experience moments of sadness even years later whenever something reminds you of her.
Just ensure to prioritise your mental health and seek required support.