As a 24-year-old woman, I have lived with my 24-year-old boyfriend for the past two years. We happened to cross paths initially at university and initiated our relationship a year after we graduated.
However, I’m currently facing an issue – I don’t want to be with him anymore. It’s challenging for me to bear his touch, I prevent intimate encounters as much as possible and I prefer to spend evenings with my friends to avoid being home alone with him.
Admittedly, it sounds terrible given that he is a good-hearted guy and quite jovial, which made me fall for him initially. But now, even though I still hold affection for him, it’s more of a platonic nature.
The primary problem lies in his immaturity. Unlike me and our mutual friends who have progressed in our lives, he is still stuck in his university mindset, not serious about anything, even ensuring enough earnings to cover rent. All his decisions are based on his mother’s thoughts and advice, and he doesn’t bother asking me.
Lately, I’ve been feeling attracted to other men too, which is another reinforcing sign that I am in the wrong relationship.
The major hurdle now is the conversation to end things with my boyfriend. The fear of hurting him leaves me jittery as I still care about him. Your advice would be highly invaluable.
Coleen’s perspective
Ending a relationship is never a cakewalk, even when you’re certain it’s the right thing to do. Heartbreak is inevitable, but you can soften the blow for your boyfriend.
Given you’re still in your early twenties, there’s a possibility that neither of you is ready yet for such commitment. What you might need is more life experience and exploration of a few more relationships before deciding to settle down.
Instead of blaming him for his juvenile behaviour or irresponsibility, you could express not feeling ready yet for taking such a serious step with him – or anyone for that matter.
My presumption from your situation reveals you playing the responsible adult’s role, primarily because someone has to. But you’d prefer shedding that responsibility, without the need of being answerable to anyone or managing bills. It’s also evident that you crave meeting new people, acquiring more experiences and having fun.
You ought to be relishing your life currently, feel a deep desire for intimacy with your partner, but instead, you’re striving to avoid him.
Neither of you should be in such a dreadful situation, so fortify yourself and confront him with the truth. Best of luck to you.
Don’t miss the opportunity to stay updated with news from [Glasgow](Glasgownews.org.uk/news) and beyond – Subscribe to our daily newsletter!